It was the middle of the summer in Chicago. I had just started a new job as a public defender a whole eight days earlier. I was shadowing the amazing and impassioned attorneys in my office. I was energized to begin this new chapter of my life. I was just starting a job that I had dreamed of for years. Then my entire life changed, everything shifted, and nothing would ever be the same. I had no clue how much the next year would be one of heartbreak and turmoil, but it would also be one of change and discovery. It would be beautifully chaotic too.
On July 18, 2023, I got a call from one of my closest friends who bore the worst news anyone could receive. Our dearest friend Jack had died in a tragic accident. I was standing in the hallway of the courthouse, listening to my friend Maria tell me how it could be possible that our friend could possibly have left us at only 28 years old. I wiped the tears off my cheeks, and walked back into the courtroom. I sat through hours of legal arguments, hearing a buzzing in lieu of the voice of the attorneys and the judge.
Jack lived life. Anyone who knew him starts off by describing him to those who didn’t by explaining that he truly lived life. Throughout our university years, Jack was always the life of every party, large or small. Whether he was earning our chants and laughs with his dance moves in the center of a party or making his friends laugh through the pain of an all night study session in the library. I laughed to the point of tears more often than not when in his presence. But what made him stand out was his ability to connect with people, nature, and his sense of adventure. The rest of us were concerned with continuing academic, professional, and financial futures as soon as we graduated. Not Jack. He asked himself what he truly wanted to experience. I think in many ways, he wasn’t sure where he’d ultimately find himself–which no matter how many the rest of us who went on to forge our professional paths like to pretend, we don’t know where we are headed either. That’s part of life. But Jack embraced this unknown. He realized there was so much to do and to see. He realized that there were many things that he did not want to do at that point in his life, so he didn’t do them. So he forged his own adventurous path forward. Jack went on to travel the world. By the time he died at only 28 years old, he had visited five continents and so many countries I can’t even keep count.
When the news of his tragic passing trickled through his vast network of family and friends all over the globe, it hit us all hard. Beyond the deep grief we all felt, I think many of us found ourselves reflecting on how much Jack lived, and how much we maybe had all not been living as much as we may have thought. While I know I am not alone among Jack’s friends in saying that his passing led to a seismic shift in my life, I can only speak to my experience in processing Jack’s death. For me his death set off a journey I will always be grateful for. Jack’s spirit managed to force me to seek adventure, just as he had done and it helped me to heal in more ways than one. When he died everything in my life fell apart. But what grew out of the debris and rubble that I was forced to sift through was truly beautiful.
Emma Judge Lit 
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